Ludicrous
by mrsProbie
Summary: Percy Weasley had some quick opportunities to get to know a young man named Justin Finch-Fletchley. He finds out he'd quite like to get to know him more.


It wasn't that Percy didn't want to date. Really, it wasn't. He'd had a bit of an awakening, and he'd very much like to explore this newly realized aspect of himself, but it was just so time-consuming trying to date - _especially_ for Percy.

It was as though everyone and their mother knew Percy as the swotty patent examiner. He'd been set up on a blind date by his coworker Andrew, only for the other man - a loose friend of Fred and George's in school, Percy dimly remembered - to spend the entire date squinting at him trying to place him. At the end, he practically jumped out of his seat to exclaim, "You were Head Boy!" After that, there was no chance of the man seeing him in any romantic sense, much less sexually. Not that he'd want to be with someone who found the Head Boy position particularly sexy: he wasn't looking to fulfill anyone's schoolboy kink.

He tried so hard to cultivate a young-adult, man-who-goes-to-pubs-with-mates sort of image. He maintained his hair, he upgraded his small wire-frame glasses to a more on-trend style, he even tried popping his coat collar.

It didn't work.

He even had a built-in fun fact from his job. He worked for the Ludicrous Patents Office, nested under the Department of Magical Games and Sports. Ron and George got no end of laughter from that. When he would half-heartedly insist that it was a serious job to undertake, they would always retort that the whole thing seemed a bit… _ludicrous_.

Strange men at bars did not generally find puns funny, he was disappointed to discover. He didn't exactly have a broad repertoire when it came to humor.

He was lucky enough to have a good circle of friends, even if most of them came from work. Andrew Whiting, for example, was a boisterous young man from the Official Gobstones Club. Percy had no idea what anyone in that office did, or if there was an office hierarchy at all. What he _did_ know was that Andrew was very good at Gobstones and very bad at setting up blind dates.

His other closest friend was a younger man named Ernie Macmillan. (He'd been in Ron's year at Hogwarts, but that was where their commonalities stopped. They didn't particularly get along, but Ernie and Percy got on like a house on fire.) Ernie was a patent examiner in Ludicrous as well, and they often made a game of seeing whose work was, in fact, more ludicrous. The loser usually had to buy the first round that Friday night at the Leaky, a tradition that had started with Ernie strong-arming him into a pint and had become an institution among the young, single men of the Department.

It was a rotating group, the only regulars being the original core: Percy, Ernie, and Andrew. He'd never been the most comfortable in social settings, but this was an arrangement that he found worked well for him.

This Friday, Ernie rolled into the pub later than usual with a man in tow that certainly didn't come from their office. Percy would have _noticed_ this man before.

Nearly as tall as Percy, with coiffed blond hair parted deeply to one side and the warmest brown eyes that he'd ever met. Smart blue robes with a white collared shirt peeking out from underneath, collar laying flat against itself. A bit of stubble, and a nervous smile that was already breaking Percy's heart. An old fashioned glass with two fingers of what might have been Firewhiskey.

"This is my friend Justin, we were in Hogwarts together." Ernie put on a deep frown. "He's been dumped, and so I'm showing him a good time with the lads tonight." Percy was impressed that Ernie managed to speak through the harsh elbow to the side he'd gotten from this Justin..

"You can just introduce me," the man said with a sniff. "There's no need to get into specifics."

Personally, Percy agreed, but he wouldn't dream of admitting it out loud. He did have to work with Ernie, after all, and he'd rather not rock that boat.

As though he could sense Percy's fascination (and honestly, he probably could), Ernie sat Justin between the two of them and turned away immediately, jumping into Andrew and Roger's conversation. Apparently the rumor mill in the office was hot with Quidditch gossip. Percy couldn't care less, and it seemed that Justin couldn't either.

"So," Percy started eloquently.

Justin coughed. "Do you work with Ernie?" he asked.

"Oh, yes," Percy said, grasping at this topic that he could get through without getting flustered by this beautiful man. "I'm a patent examiner with him, although he's on his way to being a proper patent attorney."

"He doesn't really talk about work, says he likes to leave it behind." There was a clear restraint from rolling his eyes, and Percy gave a small smile. Sounded like Ernie. "Is it anything like being an examiner in the Muggle world?"

Percy hummed, picking up his drink and spinning what was left at the bottom. "I couldn't really say. I'm not very familiar with the Muggle version," he admitted, meeting those bottomless brown eyes, "but it must be."

Justin grinned then, and they were alone in the room as far as Percy was concerned. "Your average case might be a bit more… ludicrous than the Muggles get, though."

Percy let his head fall back and gave a light-hearted groan of frustration. "Always with the ludicrous jokes." He leaned back forward to see Justin's eyes sparkling with amusement. "Let's get away from that; what do _you_ do?"

He couldn't tell, but thought that Justin straightening his back in his seat was unintentional. "I'm a consultant with the goblin relations office; as a minder healer and a licensed magizoologist, they expect me to come up with ever-crueler ways to twist the goblins' arms," he practically spat.

Percy frowned. "Do you?"

"Never," Justin boasted. "I spend a lot of time writing documentation in support of a more collaborative effort. It's not very popular with the traditional folks, but our generation seems to be more open to that kind of thing, and it really could end up stimulating the national economy, you know?"

He'd said all of this very quickly, and Percy's heart threatened to beat out of his chest.

"That's incredible," he said excitedly. "You said you're a healer _and_ a magizoologist?"

Justin preened a bit. "Well, the licensing process is only a year for magizoology."

Neither noticed that the rest of the table was eyeing them with amusement. The two stayed huddle together for the remainder of the night, each clearly reveling in having someone interested in their work for what felt like the first time in years.

Obviously, Percy was enamored. When Tom called out for last rounds, they realized the time and that Roger and his crew had left already. Percy had never closed out a bar before, and he found he didn't hate the experience.

When it was time to actually leave before Tom hexed them, he and Justin parted ways awkwardly. A handshake felt too formal, but it was where they took it, each grimacing while doing so. "I'll, er, see you around then?" Percy tried.

"Definitely," Justin said with a broad smile. This time, Ernie literally could not stifle his laugh, and Percy had had enough to drink to openly shoot him a glare for it.

* * *

By the middle of the next week, Percy was worried that he'd imagined any connection he'd felt with the other man. Granted, he wasn't sure how he was expecting Justin to get in contact with him. It wasn't like he had a Muggle phone. They hadn't decided to exchange letters. What was he thinking? He'd let this beautiful, smart, confident man get away!

It wasn't as though he had any time to socialize anyways, this week. The office had been flooded with some of the most ludicrous inventions and doo-dads he'd seen yet: a hat for House Elves that would whistle louder the faster they worked was the most confusing to him personally. Was it a notion of pride? It was certainly ludicrous.

Ernie had been hoarding the more interesting cases, which had Percy in a state. On the one hand, those were the more interesting cases, and he would have loved to be working on them; on the other hand, they were also the more difficult cases, and if Ernie wanted to loose extra sleep over them, that was fine by Percy.

It was Thursday midday when something finally happened. Ernie had mentioned that morning that Justin would be joining him for lunch, but that he wasn't sure he'd be able to finish all of his work in time. In retrospect, this should have tipped Percy off.

Sure enough, Justin strolled into their office a little past noon, once again in those soft blue robes. Ernie made a show of all the paperwork he still had to do, levitating a pile off the floor and dropping it (carelessly) on top of another pile at the edge of his desk.

"I just can't get away today," he insisted, gesturing wildly with a quill. "I'm so sorry." He didn't seem very sorry, Percy thought. "Honestly, please, I just - you know what, why don't you grab lunch with Percy?" The faux spontaneity of it began to unsettle Percy. "He's working himself half to death this week," which was untrue, "and I'd feel bad if you came all the way up here for nothing."

Justin rolled his eyes good-naturedly and turned to Percy. "Do you want to go out to lunch?" he asked with a small smile.

Percy wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. "Sure," he said calmly. "Let me just - I'll get my things." He scrambled for his wallet and wand, not even noticing the papers he sent fluttering down from the top of one of his desk piles. Once he was ready to go, he thought to ask, "Where are we going?"

" _Ernie_ and I were going to go to Paddigan's, but if you prefer anywhere else-"

"Paddigan's is fine," Percy insisted.

They were making their way out into the main corridor when Ernie called, "You two have fun!" with audible glee. It was like he was _trying_ to make things uncomfortable.

It was a nice enough lunch at the small pub called Paddigan's. There was a man sitting by the entrance who reeked of Firewhiskey and piss, but otherwise the place was quaint, if a little busier than Percy would have guessed. Their server was a young woman who seemed a little frazzled, and he wondered if she was new there. It didn't really matter.

The slow service gave them plenty of time to talk: about their work, about Ernie, and finally about the past.

Percy's breath hitched when Justin mentioned that when he was younger, he'd always been very drawn to Percy.

"You were always such a mystery, that Gryffindor who could have been in any other house just as easy, yeah? And so take-charge, always helping and bossing around." Percy gave the tiniest nod. Justin pursed his lips for a second as though trying to decide whether he should go on. "After I was petrified, my parents almost pulled me out of Hogwarts."

"That was an awful idea," Percy interrupted. "Your magic was untrained, you could have hurt yourself or others, and -"

"I know," Justin said, cutting him off. "That's what you said before. You were in Dumbledore's office before they spoke with him about it all, and they stood outside listening to you finagle every little detail of the new and improved safety plan." He rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure he knew they were there, wanted them to hear the whole thing."

"I remember that year vividly," Percy said stiffly, sitting up straighter in his chair but looking down into his tea. "I wish I didn't."

"I really admired you," Justin continued on. "Could have been in any house proper, and you were brave enough that you got put in Gryffindor. There was something inside you that _deserved_ that. I wanted to be your friend," he admitted, "but being younger, and - well, I felt a little invisibly really."

"Invisible?" Percy scoffed, finally looking up from his tea and into Justin's infinitely warmer eyes. "Absolutely not. And even if you _had_ been, you certainly aren't now. Look at you!" he added, gesturing broadly at the other man.

Justin looked at him appraisingly, and Percy got the distinct feeling that he was under a microscope. After a moment, he realized that Justin was examining his clothing. "Well I do appreciate that," he offered, "coming from a man with such an eye for librarian chic."

"What the devil does that mean?"

Justin snorted with less grace than one might have expected. "You, being all mysterious with your cheekbones and turning your coat collar up so you look cool."

Percy reddened, but he'd have been lying if he claimed he wasn't enjoying the attention. "What's this about my cheekbones?"

Justin leaned in, and Percy caught the faintest whiff of cologne. "They're lovely." Had he known that he would be forced into a date with Percy, or did he simply smell this nice every day?

"Don't have anything on yours."

Justin gave a half-smile. "You're not a good liar, Percy."

Percy grimaced. "Never have been. Family trait seemed to have missed me."

Justin laughed then, his eyes sparkling with mirth. "Would you like to go to the pub sometime? Alone, I mean?" Then he paused, brows drawn at his mangled question. "Well, alone together?"

"I'd like that, yes." It was Percy's turn to give a small smile now. He'd brought this beautiful man to stumbling over his words?

"You've got a bit of mustard, just there." Justin leaned forward and wiped the sauce from next to Percy's lips with his thumb. Percy hoped that his face wasn't burning as hot as it felt. He leaned in closer, and then Justin suddenly reclined in his chair with a smirk.

"I don't kiss on the first date, Percy."

"Is this a date then?" Percy's arms were folded, brows raised to his hairline.

"I was under the impression that's what Ernie intended for it to be."

"Well then," Percy ventured, "we'll just have to see about that second one, then."

* * *

TGS "Through the Universe" Challenge: Meridian - (words) "a little invisible"

Board Games Challenge: Civilization - Write a fic over 2k

"Are You Crazy Enough?" Challenge: #396 - (restriction) Can't use female characters

BBC Sherlock Challenge: #3 - "You, being all mysterious with your cheekbones and turning your coat collar up so you look cool."


End file.
